HAD TOO MUCH FUN? CLICK HERE FOR MAPS TO LOCAL EMERGENCY ROOMS
PICTURE GALLERIES
If your favorite "Naked News" channel got cancelled by your cable company this summer, who says dreams don't come true?
Check the members pages for news and information about "Band Camp"<wink> and stay in the loop!
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TAIL GATE PARTY..NORTHAVEN STYLE
JOHN AND LEXI TIE THE KNOT.... AGAIN !
Who says this place won't make you fall in all over again!
I would be a little leery of inviting the ex out, unless your paying alimony, then tell their latest infatuation you will spring for the tab in that new hot tub park model!
TRY IT NAKED THIS TIME
(CLICK HERE)
NEW MEMBERS... PACE YOURSELF NEWS FLASH
One of your newest members learns the hard way ! We know those frogs really look like a dining option, especially if you drank to much and missed the pot luck on Saturday,
BUT PLEASE CALL THE LOCAL PIZZA PLACE TO DELIVER.
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WTF?..Scooter says "WHERE'S THE FLOCK?"
SCOOTER IS BACK !
Our west pond resident bachelor quacker is back after a misunderstanding in the store last week. He went to purchase a condom for the weekend and Velma asked him if he wanted to put it on his bill? He got all pissed off and stormed out of the store shouting, "I'M NOT THAT KIND OF DUCK!"
THINGS ARE FINE NOW,,THANK YOU!
Hi this is Margaret
Fact: 1 in
8 woman will find out they have breast cancer. Our logo is SAVE OUR
BOOBIES. We make the hats to help raise money to meet our monetary goal for the
walk. If you are interested in buying a hat you can e-mail her at mharris0128@sbcglobal.net.
If you
would like to visit the breast cancer web site go to www.the3day.org. Thank you for any contribution that you make. Lets all save the girls, the twins, my boobies, your boobies, the worlds boobies.
Thanks Team IBTM.
FIRST IN THE POOL AWARD 2008
MR. KIM S. !!!
One a positive note, Mr. Kim did come in first, second AND THIRD in the little
package contest "shortly" after the award winning dip in the pool on Members Weekend!
SHOCK & AWWWWE CLUB
Charter Members October 1st, 2007
Your official Membership cards will be in the mail shortly!
CONNIE P, MICHELLE G, DAVE AND KIM, ART S, MARK W, BEV W, KIM S, DEREK M, JOY S, BETH S,
JEFF T, LEIANNE T, MR.NUDE RANDY, LARRY B., PACKO, RON T, DARCY D, RON t, DAVE ?, BIKER JIM.
NORTHAVEN RESORT TANGO TEAM
THANK YOU SUZY and the MEMBER TEAM
With EXTREME pleasure, Northaven Resort would like to thank Suzy and all the members that participated in the Tango routine during the Mr. Nude Northaven Contest. Their many hours of dedicated practice will be remembered and appreciated for a long time. If anyone would like to experience the joy of ballroom dancing, contact Suzy (click here), as the magic of that experience can be shared by all with the proper instruction!
Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree with Kurt and Sheila (Ms Nude Northaven 2003).
Their new, AND FIRST grandson, Declinn, 8 lbs. 6 OZ on 7-14-07, entered this world this week in the same fashion that his grandparents spend their summers in.
Congrats, Kurt and Sheila
How to tell
if you might be at Northaven – performed by Joe Notworthy at the GONG SHOW.
If you think the Ms. Nude
contest is the most important event of the year…
… you might be at Northaven.
If you go all weekend without wearing any underwear…
… you might be at Northaven.
If you have more miles on your golf cart than you do on your car…
… you might be at Northaven.
If you ask your husband,
"Does this sunburn make my ass look big?"…
you might be at Northaven.
If you've ever gotten so
drunk that the only words you can say are "HOOCH, There it is!"…
… you might be at Northaven.
f you've ever worn a Swingers Scoreboard t-shirt to the Country Market…
… you might be at Northaven.
If your apple pie comes in a bottle…
… you might be at Northaven.
If you've ever had to call time out during a volleyball game so you could remove the sand from your butt
crack…
… you might be at Northaven.
If you want to modify your
blue tank into a downhill racer…
… you might be at Northaven.
If you've ever had to borrow
a quarter from Velma so you could take a shower…
… you might be at Northaven.
If you've ever held a
meaningful conversation with Merri Beth Mannequin…
… you might be at Northaven.
If you're not offended when
someone calls you a "trunk slammer"…
… you might be at Northaven.
If you've ever had sex with
the blinds open because you know the neighbors like to watch…
… you might be at Northaven.
And finally, if it just keeps
getting Gooder and Gooder…
… you might be at Northaven.
MY BOLOGNA HAS A FIRST NAME!
Well, apparently Joes "franks" weren't the only thing that was plumping during the 3-B's Party at the pavilion last weekend.
Patti made him go sit in their motor home till he "cooled off", if you get my drift.
She reminded him that just because he was the cook today, there are still rules!
MAY 2007 CONGRATULATIONS KIM
It's always a pleasure to brag about one of our members. Those of you that were present at the APPLE this fall remember Kim winning the Best Female Costume but she also won the MILF MAKEOVER TITLE at the Apple this spring and here she is at HEDO in Jamacia this year!
GREAT JOB KIM !
TIM AND RENEE WRITE:
NORTHAVEN IS CHEAPER THAN PSYCHOTHERAPY AND A WHOLE LOT MORE FUN !
SANITY
By Tim and Renee
2007
AS WE SIT WITH GREAT ANTICIPATION
THOUGHTS OF WONDER SWIRL
HOW COULD IT HAVE BEEN JUST ONE YEAR AGO
THAT WE NEVER KNEW THIS WORLD?
HIGH ON HOOCH!! AND PHEROMONES
WALKING DOWN TIKI-LANE
WE GAZE INTO EACH OTHERS EYES
AND QUESTION IF WE’RE INSANE
AS MY EVIL TWIN GOES FLYING BY
HER LAUGHTER ECHOS THROUGH THE TREES
WE ARE HEADED TO THE DANCE
WOW! ANOTHER ONE OF THESE!
PONDERING THE ISSUE OF SANITY
AS WE WALK THROUGH THE DOOR
WE REALIZE WE ARE INSANE
FOR NOT DOING THIS BEFORE !!!
SO WE GREET AND MEET AND GREET AGAIN
DIRTY DANCING ON THE FLOOR
THE BEADS OF SWEAT ROLL DOWN A BREAST
OH GOD, NEED I SAY MORE?
SO RAISE YOUR GLASS AND GRAB YOUR LOVER
TWO OR MAYBE THREE
LETS DRINK TO LIFE
LETS DRINK TO FRIENDS
LETS DRINK TO SANITY
A rock hunting seminar will be held at the clubhouse for those interested in learning how to find those
"really big and colorful ones that are not your neighbors". Our guest speaker will be Sandy
"the rock" Bush.
Topic: "How to keep your fingers from getting
squished between the flat ones." Free samples of Band Aids and Absorbine
Jr. will be passed out, compliments of the local pharmacy.
For those 25 couples that were able to attend the clam bake
and squirrel fry, it has been a real chore to walk by a pot of split
pea and hamster soup without thinking "What a great meal that would make"! The
squirrels at camp are not in any eminent danger of being put on the endangered species
list after last years' harvest of three and leftovers of two and a half.
Despite numerous requests, Sue, a former Ms Nude Northaven runner up, still refuses to let Bill wear her Capital City Social crown from the new dance this winter, but is willing to let him wear her sash that says "sanitized for your protection" when turned inside out. Good job Sue!
NOT FUNNY
Whomever put up the sign on the front gate, "FORT DICKS", almost got identified by our security
cameras. That ski mask and trench coat got past us this time.
The sexy and talented Jim C. (one of many Northaven's premier DJs) is finally cured of his terminal vertigo! He plays a lot of your favorite tunes on CDs and the computer now. He is considering alcohol to recreate that spinning effect he enjoyed for so many years from reading the labels on the LPs while they were playing.
"IT'S THE GREENHOUSE EFFECT OFFICER, THAT’S WHY I'M NOT WEARING PANTS."
Well, that might have got you off the hook in a 1980's arrest during "Earth Day" but we want to give you all a gentle reminder to cover up when you empty your trash at the front gate. The pizza delivery guy didn't seem to mind much last year and actually looked forward to the numerous runs to the entrance. Rumor has it his mom made him get a real job and is taking over the route and her brother is the local cop. Bail is high!
The camp where the girls in
crisply starched nurses get-ups
don't administer "flu shots"