Northaven Resort - Members Only Information

If your favorite "Naked News" channel got cancelled by your cable company this summer, who says dreams don't come true?
Check the members pages for news and information about "Band Camp"<wink> and stay in the loop!

NORTHAVEN RESORT HELPING TO FIND THE CURE!

D and A GO TO SAN DIEGO

This summer BAND CAMP members support D and A in their goal to raise enough to go to San Diego for the Susan G. Komen 3-Day walk for the Cure.

CART WASHES-RAFFELS-JAIL BAIL OUTS

HELP SUPPORT THEM IN THIER GOAL!

NORTHAVEN RESORT SUPPORTS OUR MEMBERS AS WELL!
WE LOVE YOU KAREN!!!

SAVE THE BOOBIES
STILL ANOTHER!!

Hi this is Margaret
Fact: 1 in 8 woman will find out they have breast cancer. Our logo is SAVE OUR BOOBIES. We make the hats to help raise money to meet our monetary goal for the walk. If you are interested in buying a hat you can e-mail her at mharris0128@sbcglobal.net.
If you would like to visit the breast cancer web site go to www.the3day.org.

JEFFS REMINDER THAT THE “OTHER HEAD” NEEDS PROTECTION AT BAND CAMP

REMEMBER JEFF ? HE STILL HAS HIS FAVORITE CHOICE OF PROTECTION WHEN HE WAS A “BAND CAMP” MEMBER BEFORE HE MOVED SOUTH! Rumor has it he is MUCH better in bed now than when at Northaven Resort and hardly ever falls out but likes to wear this autographed helmut as a nostolgic reminder of the couples that helped him up after the dances!

BEWARE !!
AN EMERGING BAND CAMP GANG
THE NEW "SARAN WRAP" ANGELS

SINGING The Northaven Scout Song
(see more of Tiffanie, click here)

Oh I wish I was a little golf cart…golf cart

I’d hold all the naked asses,

See the winks and flirty passes,

Oh I wish I was a little golf cart…golf cart.

Oh I wish I were the clubhouse stripper pole…stripper pole

I’d get all the naughty rubbin’

Getting wet, and sometimes cummin’

Oh I wish I were the clubhouse stripper pole…stripper pole

Oh I wish I were a little blue luge…blue luge

I would enter in the race,

And I’d beat Dave at first place

Oh I wish I were a little blue luge…blue luge

Oh I wish I were a little shot of Hootch…shot of Hootch

I’d know the answer to the quiz,

When Mick shouts, “Hootch, there it is!”

“Hootch, there it is!” “Hootch, there it is!” “Hootch, there it is!”

Oh I wish I were a little shot of Hootch…shot of Hootch

I wish I were a little jagerbomb…jagerbomb

I’d stay cold at Dan and Lisa’s

And I’d make you fall to pieces

I wish I were a little jagerbomb…jagerbomb

I wish I were a little Hill Hellion…Hill Hellion

I’d fill my glass to the rim,

And do a shot with Biker Jim

I wish I were a little Hill Hellion…Hill Hellion

I wish I were a part of Pond Scum…Pond Scum

I’d be one of the couples,

Causing hell for Larry Buckles

I wish I were a part of Pond Scum…Pond Scum

I want to be Miss Nude Northaven

I would strip!!!

JOHN AND LEXI TIE THE KNOT.... AGAIN !
Who says this place won't make you fall in all over again!
I would be a little leery of inviting the ex out, unless your paying alimony, then tell their latest infatuation you will spring for the tab in that new hot tub park model!

TRY IT NAKED THIS TIME
(CLICK HERE)

TAIL GATE PARTY..NORTHAVEN STYLE

FIRST IN THE POOL AWARD
MR. KIM S. !!!

One a positive note, Mr. Kim did come in first, second AND THIRD in the little
package contest "shortly" after the award winning dip in the pool on Members Weekend!

SHOCK & AWWWWE CLUB
Charter Members October 1st, 2007
Your official Membership cards will be in the mail shortly!

CONNIE P, MICHELLE G, DAVE AND KIM, ART S, MARK W, BEV W, KIM S, DEREK M, JOY S, BETH S,
JEFF T, LEIANNE T, MR.NUDE RANDY, LARRY B., PACKO, RON T, DARCY D, RON t, DAVE ?, BIKER JIM.

NORTHAVEN RESORT TANGO TEAM
THANK YOU SUZY and the MEMBER TEAM
With EXTREME pleasure, Northaven Resort would like to thank Suzy and all the members that participated in the Tango routine during the Mr. Nude Northaven Contest.
Their many hours of dedicated practice will be remembered and appreciated for a long time.

How to tell if you might be at Northaven – performed by Joe Notworthy at the GONG SHOW.

If you think the Ms. Nude contest is the most important event of the year…
… you might be at Northaven.

If you go all weekend without wearing any underwear…
… you might be at Northaven.

If you have more miles on your golf cart than you do on your car…
… you might be at Northaven.

If you ask your husband, "Does this sunburn make my ass look big?"…
you might be at Northaven.

If you've ever gotten so drunk that the only words you can say are "HOOCH, There it is!"…
… you might be at Northaven.

f you've ever worn a Swingers Scoreboard t-shirt to the Country Market…
… you might be at Northaven.

If your apple pie comes in a bottle…
… you might be at Northaven.

If you've ever had to call time out during a volleyball game so you could remove the sand from your butt crack…
… you might be at Northaven.

If you want to modify your blue tank into a downhill racer…
… you might be at Northaven.

If you've ever had to borrow a quarter from Velma so you could take a shower…
… you might be at Northaven.

If you've ever held a meaningful conversation with Merri Beth Mannequin…
… you might be at Northaven.

If you're not offended when someone calls you a "trunk slammer"…
… you might be at Northaven.

If you've ever had sex with the blinds open because you know the neighbors like to watch…
… you might be at Northaven.

And finally, if it just keeps getting Gooder and Gooder…
… you might be at Northaven.

MAY 2007 CONGRATULATIONS KIM
It's always a pleasure to brag about one of our members. Those of you that were present at the APPLE this fall remember Kim winning the Best Female Costume but she also won the MILF MAKEOVER TITLE at the Apple this spring and here she is at HEDO in Jamacia this year!
GREAT JOB KIM !
She continued to be a Northaven Star.. winning the Ms No Swimsuit Contest in Jamaica in 2010!
(Click here to see details)

TIM AND RENEE WRITE:
NORTHAVEN IS CHEAPER THAN PSYCHOTHERAPY AND A WHOLE LOT MORE FUN !
SANITY
By Tim and Renee
2007
AS WE SIT WITH GREAT ANTICIPATION
THOUGHTS OF WONDER SWIRL
HOW COULD IT HAVE BEEN JUST ONE YEAR AGO
THAT WE NEVER KNEW THIS WORLD?
HIGH ON HOOCH!! AND PHEROMONES
WALKING DOWN TIKI-LANE
WE GAZE INTO EACH OTHERS EYES
AND QUESTION IF WE’RE INSANE
AS MY EVIL TWIN GOES FLYING BY
HER LAUGHTER ECHOS THROUGH THE TREES
WE ARE HEADED TO THE DANCE
WOW! ANOTHER ONE OF THESE!
PONDERING THE ISSUE OF SANITY
AS WE WALK THROUGH THE DOOR
WE REALIZE WE ARE INSANE
FOR NOT DOING THIS BEFORE !!!
SO WE GREET AND MEET AND GREET AGAIN
DIRTY DANCING ON THE FLOOR
THE BEADS OF SWEAT ROLL DOWN A BREAST
OH GOD, NEED I SAY MORE?

SO RAISE YOUR GLASS AND GRAB YOUR LOVER
TWO OR MAYBE THREE
LETS DRINK TO LIFE
LETS DRINK TO FRIENDS
LETS DRINK TO SANITY

For those 25 couples that were able to attend the clam bake and squirrel fry, it has been a real chore to walk by a pot of split pea and hamster soup without thinking "What a great meal that would make"! The squirrels at camp are not in any eminent danger of being put on the endangered species list after last years' harvest of three and leftovers of two and a half.

NOT FUNNY
Whomever put up the sign on the front gate, "FORT DICKS", almost got identified by our security cameras. That ski mask and trench coat got past us this time.

"IT'S THE GREENHOUSE EFFECT OFFICER, THAT’S WHY I'M NOT WEARING PANTS."

Well, that might have got you off the hook in a 1980's arrest during "Earth Day" but we want to give you all a gentle reminder to cover up when you empty your trash at the front gate. The pizza delivery guy didn't seem to mind much last year and actually looked forward to the numerous runs to the entrance. Rumor has it his mom made him get a real job and is taking over the route and her brother is the local cop. Bail is high!

THEY ARE AT IT AGAIN!!

The camp where the girls in crisply starched nurses get-ups
don't administer "flu shots"

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